Free Sessions for Couples Discovering Neurodivergence Together

In recent years, the rise in diagnoses of ADHD and autism has sparked debate and concern. However, for many couples, the real challenge lies not in the diagnosis itself but in the years spent in relationships without an understanding of the underlying issues. Barbara "Blaze" Lazarony, a specialist in couples therapy, is now providing free 20-minute sessions to help couples and individuals explore how neurodivergence might be influencing their relationships.

Understanding the Surge in Diagnoses

During ADHD Awareness Month, Lazarony, who has over 20 years of experience in the field, emphasizes that increased diagnoses reflect broader recognition rather than a worrying trend. A recent Danish study has shown that children today diagnosed with autism or ADHD share more in common with the general population than those diagnosed years ago, indicating improved identification methods.

With around 80% of her practice focusing on couples, primarily in their 40s to 70s, Lazarony encounters a significant number of clients who have only recently discovered their neurodivergent traits. Many of them are women, BIPOC, and gender-nonconforming individuals whose struggles may have gone unnoticed for decades.

The Impact of the Pandemic

Lazarony notes that the COVID-19 pandemic intensified feelings of isolation, prompting many couples to seek help. As children leave home for college, a common concern arises: "Will I have to face my partner again alone like during the pandemic?" This question reflects the anxiety many clients feel about navigating their relationships post-pandemic.

Decoding Relationship Dynamics

Within mixed-neurotype couples, Lazarony frequently observes a pattern where one partner, often the woman, bears the invisible mental burden while the other partner thrives in structured environments. The trajectory that begins with shared interests can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of being neglected or unloved. "No shame, no blame," she advises, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these dynamics rather than casting blame.

Dr. Harry Motro, a clinical director, highlights how understanding these differences can rekindle connections that have been strained over the years. Couples often find themselves able to laugh and relate again once they grasp the intricacies of their emotional wiring.

A Personal Journey to Understanding

Lazarony brings a unique perspective, having faced her own health challenges, including multiple cancer diagnoses. Her journey of self-discovery began with her transition from a corporate career to a coaching and therapeutic role. This journey of understanding her neurodivergent traits at the age of 57 allowed her to empathize with her clients deeply.

Her innovative approach is based on the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life, a framework she developed that views neurodivergent growth as cyclical rather than linear. This model shifts the focus from deficits to strengths, promoting a healthier understanding of neurodivergence.

Taking the First Step

For those who resonate with these experiences, Lazarony encourages self-discovery as the first step. While a formal diagnosis can be beneficial, she believes individuals can begin exploring their traits through reputable screening tools and by monitoring aspects like sleep and nutrition.

"My ultimate goal is helping people discover who they are and learn to love that person," Lazarony states.

Engage with Love on the Autism Spectrum

In addition to her therapy practice, Lazarony is the author of "Unmasked Self-Acceptance: 365 Days of Coming Home to Who You Really Are" and hosts the "Love on the Autism Spectrum" podcast, which has reached 105 episodes. Couples and individuals can sign up for free 20-minute Clarity & Connection sessions via Zoom, allowing them to ask questions and see if her approach aligns with their needs. These sessions offer a no-pressure opportunity to explore a deeper understanding of their emotional landscape.

Bringing coffee and curiosity, participants can find a comfortable space to delve into their experiences with the support of Lazarony's expertise.