Spending time with people who consistently create problems or make life harder—what researchers call “hasslers”—may accelerate biological aging and harm overall health. A recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences examined how these stressful ties affect people’s bodies and minds.
The study used data from 2,345 Indiana residents aged 18 to 103 (average ~46). Participants listed close contacts from the prior six months and identified anyone who “often hassled them, caused problems, or made life difficult.” Average network size was just over five people; on average about 8.1% of network members were labeled hasslers. Nearly 29% of participants reported at least one hassler, and 10% reported two or more, indicating persistently negative ties are fairly common.
Researchers measured biological aging using saliva-based epigenetic markers. They found a consistent association: each additional hassler in a person’s network corresponded to roughly a 1.5% increase in the pace of biological aging—equivalent to aging about 1.015 biological years for each chronological year per added hassler. The study reported associations, not definitive causation, and noted that hassler exposure clusters among certain groups rather than occurring randomly.
Certain patterns emerged. Women were less likely than men to report having zero hasslers and generally reported more hasslers. People with adverse childhood experiences, larger social networks, daily smokers, and those in poorer health were more likely to have hasslers—suggesting social and health vulnerabilities make people more likely to encounter or report difficult ties. Hasslers were more often family members (parents and children more frequently cited than spouses). Outside the family, co-workers, neighbors, and roommates were more commonly named than friends.
The negative effects extended beyond epigenetic aging. Each additional hassler was linked to worse outcomes across multiple health domains, with the strongest and most consistent associations seen in mental health. More hasslers correlated with higher severity of depression and anxiety and poorer self-rated mental health. Physical and adiposity-related outcomes showed smaller but still significant associations. Experts note that chronic stress from difficult relationships can affect blood pressure, gastrointestinal and immune systems, sleep, concentration, appetite, and emotional functioning.
Because hasslers often include unavoidable people—family members or colleagues—the simple advice to cut contact isn’t always feasible. Experts recommend focusing on what you can control: practicing self-care, setting clear value-based boundaries, and using coping strategies like journaling, meditation, exercise, and grounding techniques. Setting boundaries “from a place of values” and communicating needs with compassion can reduce harm without escalating conflict. Taking breaks and engaging in soothing activities are practical ways to manage interactions with difficult people.
In sum, stressful close ties are common and cluster around vulnerable individuals. They’re associated with faster epigenetic aging and poorer mental and physical health. While the study shows correlation rather than proof of causation, limiting exposure when possible and strengthening personal coping and boundary skills are practical steps to protect health.
