It’s a common misperception that interest in sex and romantic relationships fades with age. A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research, however, found that adults ages 60 to 83 continue to desire—and often need—sexual intimacy in their relationships.
Researchers interviewed 100 single adults (50 men, 50 women) with average ages of about 66. The study focused on how single older adults frame their desire for new sexual and romantic relationships. Nearly three-quarters said they would not want a relationship that lacked sexual activity; many called the absence of sex a “deal breaker.” Participants described a relationship without sex as potentially more like a friendship than a romantic partnership. For example, Dean, 68, said a lack of intimacy would end a relationship, while Evelyn, 65, said sex must be part of a relationship or “what’s the use?”
About 30 participants said they might accept a relationship without intercourse, but their statements often included caveats or contradictions. Some were open to nonpenetrative sexual contact, hoped to change a partner’s mind, or would accept sexlessness only if sex stopped later in a relationship after love was already established.
Experts say the findings challenge stereotypes that older adults become asexual. Arien Muzacz, PhD, a clinical associate professor of counseling, noted that older adults who report sexual activity also report greater well-being and life satisfaction. Karyne Wilner, PsyD, a licensed psychologist, explained that desire often persists even if people become “less sexual” because of age-related changes. Many in their 70s, 80s and beyond still feel romance and desire, though they may face more difficulties with sex.
Participants acknowledged biological and practical challenges—erectile difficulties, reduced lubrication, medication side effects, menopause—but generally saw these as obstacles to navigate rather than reasons to give up on sex. Wilner recommended reframing sexuality to include sensual touch, close physical contact, tender massage, or other forms of intimacy that may not mirror younger sexual experiences but remain meaningful. Several participants emphasized that the quality of physical connection mattered more than frequency. Howard, 62, said it’s the physical connection, not how often, that keeps a relationship healthy.
The study underscores both the importance of sexual intimacy for many older adults and their willingness to be flexible about what sexuality looks like with age. Encouraging sexuality among older adults—single, partnered, or married—can support emotional and physical well-being if approached realistically and adaptively.
Health implications include the need for open conversations about sexual health. Muzacz pointed out that STI prevention matters for older adults, who may face increased biological vulnerability (for example, thinning vaginal walls and reduced lubrication) and who may have multiple partners in communal settings like retirement communities. Using water-based lubricants that don’t degrade latex condoms, getting tested, and discussing safe-sex practices with clinicians are recommended.
The researchers and clinicians emphasized that sexual wellness should be incorporated into routine healthcare for older adults. Physicians, gynecologists, and urologists can help patients understand changes, manage symptoms (such as with lubricants or treatments for erectile dysfunction), and discuss safe practices. Above all, the study may reassure older adults that seeking intimacy is normal and that redefining sexual expression with age can still provide pleasure, connection, and life satisfaction.
