The idea that sexual desire disappears with age is misleading. A recent Journal of Sex Research study of 100 single adults, ages 60 to 83 (50 men and 50 women, average age about 66), found that many older adults continue to want sexual and romantic intimacy.
Nearly three-quarters of participants said they would not accept a relationship that lacked sexual activity; many described the absence of sex as a deal breaker and said a sexless partnership would feel more like a friendship than a romantic relationship. One participant said that a lack of intimacy would end a relationship, while another summed it up as “what’s the use?” if sex wasn’t part of the partnership.
Roughly 30 people said they might accept a relationship without intercourse, but their answers often included qualifications: openness to nonpenetrative contact, hope of changing a partner’s mind, or willingness to tolerate sexlessness only after love and emotional bonds were established.
Clinicians and researchers see these results as a corrective to the stereotype that older adults are asexual. Arien Muzacz, PhD, notes that those who report sexual activity also report higher well-being and life satisfaction. Karyne Wilner, PsyD, explains that desire often persists even as sexual expression changes with age; many people in their 70s and 80s still feel romance and longing, though physical challenges can make sex more difficult.
Participants acknowledged biological and practical barriers—erectile difficulties, reduced lubrication, medication side effects, and menopause—but generally framed these as challenges to work around rather than reasons to abandon intimacy. Experts encourage broadening the definition of sexuality to include sensual touch, close physical contact, tender massage, and other forms of intimacy that may differ from younger sexual experiences but remain meaningful. Several participants emphasized that the quality of physical connection mattered more than frequency.
There are also health considerations. Older adults can be biologically more vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections and may encounter risk in communal or dating settings. Practical recommendations include using water-based lubricants that won’t degrade latex condoms, getting tested, and discussing safe-sex practices with clinicians.
Researchers and clinicians recommend that sexual wellness be a routine part of healthcare for older adults. Primary care physicians, gynecologists, and urologists can explain age-related changes, offer symptom management (lubricants, treatments for erectile dysfunction), and counsel on safer-sex practices. Above all, the study reassures older adults that seeking intimacy is normal and that redefining sexual expression with age can still provide pleasure, connection, and greater life satisfaction.